Heeding The Call

When I heed the resounding call from greater knowing, no matter how daunting the task, it has never failed me. It has revealed the vastness of my potential, always just beyond the brink of my own limitations. I didn’t know how I was going to heal, I just knew I would.

I’ve had plenty of life experiences confirming I’d made the right choice by listening to the powers Be. That’s what I’ll call it because I don’t know if it’s God, the angels, my ancestors, supreme intelligence, my higher self or a version of myself in a parallel universe that’s giving me feedback. Maybe it’s all the same thing…after all, are we not of One? There’s been too many divine interventions in the span of my life to question it. No, it’s not logical… it’s mystical.

Maybe my life was set up that way in preparation to navigate cancer… Sometimes it comes as a sign, sometimes it’s a sure feeling. Sometimes the confirmation is encrypted, leaving little breadcrumbs for me to follow until I get to the big YES! The YES is absolute. It makes me weep in gratitude because knowing with certainty amidst uncertainty is a miracle. Making the move requires immense faith because I have to go all in. Like I’m standing on the edge of the cliff receiving the message to jump off. I have to commit to making the leap.  I have to trust that my wings will open before I hit the ground.

What I knew for sure was that I could not accept the doctor’s advice. I never did end up unscrambling the words said to me that day of my diagnosis. There was no way to put it together in a way that made any sense to me. How could removing a part of me heal me? How could burning me heal me? How could poisoning me with known carcinogens heal me? How can that be the way for an already compromised system?

I’d done enough research by then to know the dismal reality of cancer recurrence after conventional treatment. One could be in remission, for a few months maybe even for years, then one day it comes back with a tenacious ferocity. I had to understand the root cause of why my body was dysfunctioning. I didn’t buy into the all the theories that I came across. It wasn’t convincing enough…it didn’t resonate as truth.

The allopathic treatment model is based on symptoms. The strategy is to attack the tumour with guns blazing… to get rid of the scary thing on the surface. To me, it was an incredibly violent approach, with the ripple effect of compromising the whole system. Sure, there are survivors following that model but it wasn’t for me. I couldn’t bet my life on it. I knew what I wasn’t going to do so, I stepped off the ledge.  


Rainbow Jaguar shreds through Fear- Painting by Maasa

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